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1) BRAIN TUMOR: >> >>>> >> >>>>Doctor: I regret to tell you that you have a brain tumor. >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Yesss!!! (Jumps in joy) >> >>>>Doctor: Did you understand what I just told you? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Yes >>of course, do you think I'm dumb? >> >>>>Doctor: Then why are you so happy? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Because that proves that I have a brain!

2) MR. BEAN WHILE IN GRADE SCHOOL: >> >>>> >> >>>>Teacher: What is 5 plus 4? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: 9 >> >>>>Teacher: What is 4 plus 5? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Are you trying to fool me, you've just twisted the >> >>>>figure, the >> >>>>answer is 6!!

3) WHILE IN A DRUG STORE: >> >>>> >> >>>>Mr. Bean: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson. >> >>>>Clerk: Sir, vitamin A, B or C? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Any will do, my grandson doesn't know the alphabet >> >> >>>>yet!! >> >>>> >>

4) AT AN ATM MACHINE: >> >>>> >> >>>>Friend: What are you looking at? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: I know your PIN no., hee, hee. >> >>>>Friend: Alright, what is my PIN no. if you saw it? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: four asterisks (****)! >> >>>> >>

5) Marriage: >> >>>> >> >>>>Friend: How many women do you believe must a man marry? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: 16 >> >>>>Friend: Why? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Because the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better >> >>>>and 4 >> >>>>worse.

6) CHATTING WITH HIS FRIEND: >> >>>> >> >>>>Friend: How was the tape you borrowed from me, >>is it Ok? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: What do you mean ok, I thought it's a horror film. I >> >>>>didn't >> >>>>see any picture. >> >>>>Friend: What tape did you take anyway? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Head Cleaner.

7) DEATH OF HIS MOTHER: >> >>>> >> >>>>Mr. Bean: (crying) the doctor called, Mom's dead. >> >>>>Friend: condolence, my friend. >> >>>>(After 2 minutes) Mr. Bean cries even louder. >> >>>>Friend: what now? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: my sister just called, her mom died too!

8) MR. BEAN ATTENDING A MEETING: >> >>>> >> >>>>Colleague: Sorry I'm late. I got stuck in an elevator for 4 >>hrs >> >>>>because >> >>>>of a >>power failure. >> >>>>Mr. Bean: That's alright, me too...I got stuck on the >>escalator >> >>>>for 3 >> >>>>hrs.

9) Spelling lesson: >> >>>> >> >>>>Mr. Bean's Son: Dad, what is the spelling of successful....is >>it >> >>>>one c >> >>>>or two c? >> >>>>Mr. Bean: Make it three c to be sure! >> >>>> >> >>>><<- If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a >>"HEART" >> >>>>or a "U" >> >>>>and get "HURT". But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT than >>have >> >>>>a >> >>>>"HEART" without U"...

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