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Today In History (JULY 11)

Jul 11 1804
Former Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton and sitting Vice President Aaron Burr duel in Weehawken, New Jersey after Hamilton allegedly slandered Burr during a political dinner in New York. Hamilton is shot in the liver and dies the next day. Meanwhile, Burr lives on to finish his term in office and is eventually tried for treason after attempting to raise an army and seize land for himself, either in Mexico or the Louisiana Territory.

Jul 11 1812

The United States invades Canada, in what is actually America's involvement in the Napoleonic world war. (Yes, there were two World Wars before WWI.)

Jul 11 1945

For the first time, Napalm powder is mixed with gasoline and sprayed on live human beings. This feat is achieved by U.S. Army forces against the Japanese on Luzon in the Philippines.

In grand Internet tradition, we now give you the recipe to produce this horrible substance: Take styrofoam, add benzene and gasoline; ignite; pour on [insert ethnic slur here].

Jul 11 1979

The derelict space station Skylab finally returns to Earth, ignominiously breaking into 500 separate fragments which are swallowed by the Indian Ocean. That is, except for the ones which crash into Woorlba Sheep Station, near Balladonia in Western Australia. Shortly thereafter, President Jimmy Carter telephones the prime minister of that country to apologize for scattering NASA litter on his nation.

Jul 11 1994

In the garage of her home in Universal City, California, Shannon Michelle Wilsey commits suicide with a .40 caliber Beretta. Wilsey -- better known as porn superstar Savannah -- had made lots of enemies during her career. Her obituary in Screw magazine runs beneath the headline DING DONG THE BITCH IS DEAD.

Jul 11 1997

Bodybuilder and wannabe actor Jonathan Norman is arrested for trespassing on Steven Spielberg's estate in Malibu, California. Believing that the film director "wanted to be raped," Norman had brought along a kit containing handcuffs, duct tape, nipple clamps, chloroform, and a stun gun.

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